is it good to be a single child?

i started to think about some of my behaviours after reading a post. yes, only reading can make us write. the matter is that, i talk to myself a lot, in my home, outside home too.. as i brought up alone i used to talk to myself, to my diary, to the mirror, sometimes to the person who doesnt exist anywhere around me. i remember, from childhood i used to imagine situations that shall happen in recent times and i create the whole dialogues that i have to tell when that situation occurs. :) but that help me most times., but not always.
my colleague told me that when i walk on road, my face explains that i am thinking so deeply. and am just out of mind. yeah true.. i think a loooot, mostly when i walk alone. i told here before that am not am singer, but i love to sing and i do that in mind, i sing a lot, and sometimes i cannot control that interest and then the song will burst out of my mouth.. and the sad part is that, it always happen when am travelling, or walking.. soo sad.. then i'll start think of the people around me, poor people.. hei dont think i sing loudly.. noo. slow.. bt people can understand that my mouth is moving and am not on fone or something.. so they may feel am mad!!
why all this happen in me?.. may be am brought up as a single child.. sometimes, it hurts when my friends talk about their siblings and all that... but the same thing make me happy sometime.. when am home, i get complete attention of my parets, i dont have to share their love, or anythng.. when they bring something home, i dont have to give to anyone. am i being selfish??.. oh God, no.. when am with friends, i love to give them alll that.. but the matter is that noone is demanding me to give this or that..
but girls shouldnt born or brought up lonely.. my life taught me that.. sometimes, the lonely feeling makes me mad...

Manukuttan

He was charming,
handsome,
naughty, so loveable.
He was the love of
a family.
He always care about
his hair, beard.
new styles, new looks.
he was fantastic.

but last time, when i saw him,
he was laying on a bench,
covered with white clothes.
His head was half damaged,
no new look,
no beard,
no smile in his lips.
no pain also.

His loved one's told me
with tears ..
look, its not him.
its not him.

29/9/2011

When your heart stop thinking of me,
Stop beating for me,
My heart starts beating heavily as
It dont get enough air to breathe.
Kanna,
Why is it so?

kottayam - karukachal, 21km

I always loved journeys. travelling long distance, even if the scenes are same. from childhood, i try to make stories about the houses that i pass by, from the persons roamed there. all houses have its own stories. it may be idiotic, but i love to do that. when getting bored of the story creation i start thinking about my stories.

By feeling a very strong love, me and him had planned to get married 3,4 years ago. yeah, that was my teenage. so actually i can understand now what the teenage actually feels. but now, i know that we might have get divorced by now. its not because we dont love, it actually because the lack of time spending together. I know al the facts and situations surrounding us. Because of job, we dont get time as much as we had in our college days. but when the temper is in peak, i really cant remind and understand this. Why why why.????
So i think one should not get married without having a job and without understanding the time which can spend in job days. Understanding matters dude!

There was a time when i had too much stuffs to write. So much bogs, discussions were active at that time. what is happening around me.. may be am getting into myself now. may be others also.
but really missing that days now.

Employed

am employed now, new place, new people.. its much far from my home. have to take 2 buses to reach here. but actually the places that i have to travel through is pretty good. big trees, small waterfalls, very greenish appearance. the place i work is called 'karukachal'. 2 collegues. so u can understand its a small brach office of a big company.
am just sitting here, watching people outside, getting bored, feeling hungry..
so i thought to do blogging.
opposite to my office, there is a small tea shop. that caught my eye first.

food, and foood

am so hungry when am sad. y is that so? so last day i made a snack..
ya. its good..
i'l tell the recipe.. it tastes so good.
take 7-8 dates, remove its seed and fill there with cashew nut or badam.
take some 2-3 spoons of maida , mix it with water.
put the dates in the maida mix and deep fry it in oil..
the snack is ready..
actually,
the dates tastes good after frying it.
no moree news for today.

lately...

it happend. i got specs.. dr told me to use it continuosly for about 6months. :)
i cannot think that am alone again.
but its true.
life is not so simple like we think.. ups and downs.. am fed up.